Saturday, February 23, 2013

sloan's arrival

 
this is the last miserable huge fat pregnancy pic, two days over due......


26 days after my last blog post, sloan jenstead meyer was born.  he is currently already a little over two months old.  there is not one day that goes by that i don't thank the lord for a perfect baby, and i mean perfect, easy, mellow, smiley, and healthy.  i am completely in love.

there are a couple reasons i haven't blogged in a while.  one, my blog storage was full and i am now required to pay a small monthly fee and i kept putting off doing that.  second, i was waiting to come off this birth high.  i keep waiting for tears and emotions, like i had with sawyer but so far i have been high as a kite and there is no pity party in sight.  and he is a perfect baby.  so the story goes...

i went into labor on sunday the 25th at 5:00am, awoke with a painful contraction in the small of my back.  all i could think of was, god dam back labor....we meet again.  i wanted front labor, i was mad.  that first contraction actually brought tears to my eyes, it hurt bad. they varied around eight minutes apart i believe. i sleepily texted laura on her fb and her regular email, just to give her a heads up.  i tried to go back to sleep and i didn't even tell jake until we all got up around 8:00.  i called my mom soon there after, didn't want everyone to get their panties in a bunch either. so i told everyone to keep their cool.  i knew i had lots of time, because with sawyer these contractions started the 31st and she came the 3rd.  so we just kind of hung out.  we didn't tell anyone, to keep the pressure off and didn't want any visitors until after baby was born.  the seahawks played the bears and won.  i mean the seahawks lost and i don't even know who they played.  i watched country strong, with gwyneth paltrow and blubbered like a baby. i probably wouldn't recommend that movie for a three day over due prego.  i drank like ten sunny d's and ate costco cinnamon apple bread and raspberries all day. i think i took two baths.   

i gave sawyer a bath and cried, thinking this would be her last bath as an only child.  i hugged and kissed her so much and was very emotional throughout the day.  after all she was three and i had only left her over night three nights since she was born.  i also prayed all day that labor would be easy but as the day went on i got very discouraged, i was getting tired and the pain was unbearable.  complete back labor, why me?  my husband couldn't do anything for me, it was my job to labor.  the day was long and sawyer needed a nap and she knew something funny was going on so we packed up and headed to my mom's hoping she would fall asleep.  she didn't. this was around 5pm. contractions now were three to five mins apart.

i labored in my mom's bed, laying on my left side.  phoned laura of my progress.  i think jake called the hospital.  laura was very kind to give me suggestions and i was trying to be a good student but i just wanted to lay.  every other position just hurt worse.  i think my body and mind just knew what to do.  i went back and forth, positive thoughts, negative thoughts.  positive being, come on baby boy we can do this.  lets make it easy on each other. i want to meet you. i want to see your face.  i want to smell you.  i focused on my breaks.  negative thoughts; this effing hurts, what was i thinking?  i thought of all the super fast laborers who baby's just fall out at home when they thought they had to poop.  it was what i did, i just went back and forth.  i really wanted to have this baby without an epidural but i didn't rule it out entirely.  jake and i had a code word "peaches" if you have seen ice age, you'd understand.  little did i know i was never going to need it. 

sawyer needed to go to bed, so gail took her. that was the plan if i went into labor over night and that is what i was doing.  keeping all my loved ones up at crazy hours into the night.  i felt bad already.  i cried really hard and had to pull myself together to get in the car and go to the hospital.  i hated saying goodbye to her and just thinking about it typing brings me to tears.  how could i possibly share my love with another child?  she was my world.  contractions were painful, i was tired, so were my mom and jake. we got to the hospital and laura met us in the parking lot (i don't even think i texted her because i left my mom's all emotional and i was in so much pain sitting in the car, i just wanted to make it there).  i think it was almost 9:00pm, i had been in labor 16 hours at this point.  i was a 3, mushy with a buldging bag when quimby checked me at 40 weeks.

the hospital was quiet almost too quiet.  cecila (a nurse i had with sawyer checked my in), she touch my belly and said, this baby is big.  it discouraged me at the time, who wants a BIG baby to come out of their vagina?  but now i appreciate her accurate assessment.  i was a five and so we moved to another room and they allowed me to stay.  how nice of them allowing me to stay and all?  they put an iv in my arm, checked the baby and let us be.

apparently birth plans go a long way theses days.  i felt bad going into labor well into the night.  i knew my people were tired.  laura suggestion different positions but left lying is all that i could do.  as contractions intensified, counter pressure on my back from laura and jake was helpful to say the least.  i was in so much pain. 

they checked the baby for fifteen minutes every hour and then disconnected me from the cords.  it was really nice not at all like my first labor.  i just kept focusing on my breaks and wanted to die at the top of my contractions.  to be honest they were never regular to me.  some hurt worse than others, it was weird.  i remember my mom and laura kept patting and rubbing me when they walked by, i liked it....until i didn't anymore.  and this was about this time i left my body and someone else replaced it.  i am guessing a little bit before transition.  and it took all i had to say no more touching, only counter pressure. and i preferred jake to push on my back because he could do it harder.  i still didn't want to hurt anyone feelings but if anyone touched me again, i was about to go bat shit crazy. 

i clung to the side rail during each contraction or wave as some people call them.  fuck the waves.  i started weeping because it hurt so bad and i was so tired.  a little after midnight they check me and i was an seven.  jake insisted i be checked and by this point i really didn't care what they did with me.  after alik (my sweet nurse checked me i had to pee).  in the bathroom, i peed and how do i put this nicely, "lost my focus" and started screaming like a wild banshee. i couldn't focus at all, the pain was so intense all in my back and out of this world painful.  alik started to run an bath.  i believe i had a moderate amount of bloody show as well.  i remember trying to take off my socks, in between screams, it's funny i even cared about my socks at this point. sometime after that, the bath water got turned off, someone pulled the plug and i was back in bed.  everything was blurry.  i was dying.  i hated everyone.  everyone was talking to me but i didn't care what they were saying.  no breaks, contraction, contraction, contraction.....god help me.

if you have seen ice age, then you must have probably seen the exorcist.  me reenacting that one part on the bed, me rolling around, gown all twisted and lots of screaming and grabbing the side rail on the left tossing around grabbing jakes arms on the right.  just kill me, why do people do this? people are crazy.  help me. i think the nurse checked me again and i was only an 8, my disappoint and her relief, since quimby hadn't arrived yet.  quimby showed up some time there after.  i remember my mom, saying multiple times, "can't you just give her something to take the edge off?"  i remember hearing her and thinking i don't want any pain meds, i just want to die mom.  just tell them to kill me.  god mom get it together will you?

then quimby wanted to break my water sometime after 12:30, go for it.  i distinctly remember my mom, laura and jake giggling....not funny then...possible slightly funny now.  poor dr quimby gets called out of her comfy bed, to a screaming pregnancy lady.  she just sat on the end of my bed her her pjs.  i was laying on my left side and she just lifted my right leg and put it on her shoulder and broke my water just like that.  it felt amazing and warm, then i wanted to die again.  everyone all talking to me at once. i couldn't focus.  there was no prenatal yoga or birthing class or book, that could have prepared me for this.  i had like a little break after she broke my water, then it was my back. i remember grabbing it, as if that were to help the situation.  then my crotch started to hurt. my back, my crotch.  that preceded for i don't know how long. a bunch of crazy people telling me to push.  they weren't fooling me i wasn't about to push for three hours i had to save my energy, i was already too tired. oh and that bed so uncomfortable and quimby just sitting on the foot of the bed smiling, you can push.  nope, i'm not that stupid.  oh no, i have to poooooop.  thinking please get the poop away from my crotch, i don't want it near the baby.  no you aren't pooping.  oh yes.  i have to.  yuck i am going to be that person who poops during labor, gross.  and jake you haven't killed me yet.  please kill me.  help me.  please just knock me out.  and mom want are you doing standing back in the corner, go get a two by four or an iv pole, please hit me over the head with it, help me please. 

i remember asking do you see the head? he's way up there, i'm not pushing.  and so many people were talking to me. i never heard yes i can see his head.  but then after quimby told me i wasn't pooping and to just push.  she took my hand and i could feel his head, all of his fontanelle's, molding over each other.  i still didn't want to push then.  and then best part of labor ever.  i pushed.  my body was ready.  it was better than any orgasm i ever had.  then another double push.  again best feeling ever.  it took my pain away completely.  i thought contractions hurt i didn't want to feel the ring of fire or my vagina ripping in two.  to be honest i didn't, i gave one push and a double push and then alik the nurse yelled don't push.  i looked down to see him half out cute little perfect back facing down i still couldn't see his face.  or believe what was happening.  i didn't push but screamed, get him out!!!! and then he was on me.  a little scream on his way up to my chest and then just wide eyed staring at me, his body was a little blue.  pain was gone.  i felt a little tug from the cord.

i immediately apologized for all the screaming, voice was already half gone.  omg he is perfect and so cute, i love him.  everyone was smiling, telling me good job.  alik told me i did great and i didnt even use any cuss words.  i just loved him so much and we just met.  he was ridiculously handsome, not a face i had ever seen before.  what just happened?  my goodness.  i'm not tired anymore.  it was 1am. now i understand what people are talking about.  bliss.

apparently i had him for a long time.  then they weighed him.......TEN POUNDS.  and 21 inches. my god.  it was the best thing i have ever done in my life.  it gets better every day.

 
 
and just for the record, i never pooped.