Sawyer went to a purple tutu party for a friend of the family, who turned three, last weekend, she had a ball. Jake and I, not so much. Instead of being a sweet little princess girl with painted finger nails and bows in her hair. She climbed trees, bruised up her knees, dug for potato bugs, climbed a fence and ran into the street, several times. Meanwhile, Jake and I were trading Sawyer duties, trying to enjoy our selves at the party. We are always so excited for family/friend functions but then realize when we get there, were rarely get to enjoy our selves, just get sweaty chasing around Bean and don't really get to socialize or eat good potluck for that matter. While we watch other kids just stand around and not get dirty, and there must of been like 15 kids all pretty young. Just lay a blanket down sprinkle some cheerios and they baby's content for hours. Not Sawyer. So frustrating. She is making me a better person everyday, that is for sure.
Notice the tree in the left of the picture, that's the one she kept climbing, no matter how many times we told her no. Yep that's the fence she snuck out under. Just ran right into the road, no big deal. Do you think we got one family picture together? Nope no time for that, don't even have time to think about it with Sawyer. Poor Jake gets more stressed out then I do. He kept saying, "five more minutes, babe." Finally I couldn't take it anymore, I took her for a drive around the block hoping she'd fall asleep. And all I could think about was. Does she have ADD? Maybe I should make a doctor appointment and get her checked out. Honestly, I was trying hard not to cry at this point. We can't take her anywhere. She is so hard. All the other babies, just stand in one spot and don't move. My mom, my brother, my husband were all like let's go. Sawyer's is so busy. Seriously I love her to death and wouldn't change a thing but she hasn't been the easiest child to deal with. Ever since I became pregnant, felt her kick all the time. Was sick the majority of my pregnancy...like every day for six months. Other friends I worked with were pregnant always said how they wanted to check fetal heart tones, because they never felt there babies move. Oh and labor...that was just a joyous experience too...contractions started on a Sunday afternoon, every eight minutes, not very painful but no sleep at all...went to the hospital Monday night because they started hurting like a son of a BEEP...didn't have her until Tuesday afternoon after three hours of pushing. Then she never slept at all. I see my friends babies and how easy they are, just fall asleep in my arms. Sleep through the night. Not Sawyer made me quit my full-time job for Christ's sake. No one can handle watching her. Honestly, I never let anyone watch her because I knew they would get frustrated and probably throw her out a window. So I just loved her, gave her everything she could possibly want. Even I couldn't make her comfortably at times, she looked so miserable. Diagnosed with reflux, four months later.. I did want I had to do to get through it. Wouldn't have changed a thing.
I do get jealous reading other mommy blogs, how perfectly and easy motherhood has treated them. Lots of cute pictures and projects. I feel like Jake and I are pretty laid back people. She isn't bad, she is actually really smart and advanced for her age. She Always scores 100% on the exams at the doctors. Learns something new every day. But getting her to sleep, eat, follow directions, hasn't been the easiest task. She gets it, eventually. I am a firm believer on letting her be a kid too. Saying no all day long, just not for me. I like redirecting. I see babies come to the ER and sleep through rectal temperatures and IV insertions. I honestly can say I could rarely could put Sawyer down if she fell asleep in my arms, she would always wake up. Brushing her teeth is a wrestling matching and hysterical tears every single night. I just recently was able to carry her out of her car seat asleep and lay her down in her room for a nap. She was very difficult. Gets easier every day. All my friend's kids are so mellow compared to Sawyer. It really is frustrating. I wonder all the time if I am doing things right? Jake wants to have another baby, and I am so selfish. Awesome outcome beautiful healthy baby girl, don't get me wrong. But not sleeping for honestly a year (that's how long it took). Being so sick for the majority of pregnancy. Having to bite my tongue when family and friend say things like...."you just need to get out, she needs daycare" or just refuse to respect our decisions as parents. We seriously shut out the world when Sawyer entered our lives. I chose her on the weekends and my husband, I could care less about going out to concerts or bars. Forgive me for wanting to be with my child. I won't look back and regret a thing. I have all of our bar stools in the hallway, because she climbs on them and winds up on the kitchen counters. I have nothing on any end tables or coffee tables because she would throw a picture or dump a plant. I envy my girlfriend's that actually have decorations in their living rooms. Potty training, so hard. That's a whole other blog post.
She even got stung by a bee today and didn't even cry. Thank god she didn't have a reaction, that was her first bee sting. I carry benedryl around, just in care, that's the ER nurse in me. I feel a little better venting my frustrations as a mother. Deciding what to write and discuss on my blog is hard sometimes. I want to keep things light and simple and classy but sometimes, the truth just need to be told. Thanks for reading if you are still with me.
Here is a sneak peek at Sawyer's new dresser....
Decided to go with white.
Strawberry contact paper, which I love. Got at McClendon's for $3 something. I'm not going to lie, it was a b*tch laying it.